Welcome to The Life Studio a place where you can rest up, take off your shoes and be yourself

Wednesday, 17 April 2013

Motivational sheep - 10 ways to avoid a self-help Guru

Watching a US reality TV show recently (I know, I know!) I felt the vomit rising up in my throat as a guy with ego infused eyes and a cheesy grin introduces himself as a 'motivational speaker', 'life coach', and 'life strategist'    (WTF). He then begins to spout cliche's and rehearsed drivel, which is like catnip to the lost, but won't really change your life past Tuesday. The camera pans round and you see an audience of a few hundred people looking trustfully up at this church less evangelist.

A life coach???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *looks at self in horror

As I chew the edge of my wooden coffee table to cleanse myself of his imprint, I add a snapshot of him to my mental image bank, to recall when I next need to run up a steep hill, or give birth to a rhinoceros. These narcissistic cuckoo's tell you what to do, and nest in your own lack of self-direction with their pseudo knowledge. The difference between knowledge and wisdom is, knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad. I have had conversations with many people who, thanks to guru's, are ignoring the reality stop signs in pursuit of someone else's implanted delusions. It's not their fault, they were looking for hope, new skills, and the road to happiness.

I had coffee with an unknowing victim, what I got was a seminar for one I didn't sign up for. A good man at heart, he had invested a lot of money in courses to help him to 'make a million speaking' or 'live an amazing life doing what I do', he had learnt not to value all the unique things that made him relatable, and human, and had become a puppet. He was detached, emotionally unavailable, further away from finding himself, and helping people was way down his list after Ferrari. The clue is when they talk at you in quotes and slip into a hybrid Anglo/American accent.

This plague is not to be confused with a heartfelt speaker that has an incredible story to tell where they have achieved something, triumphed over adversity, or royally messed their lives up, and got up again. Not to be confused either with someone who is so passionate about helping people they have turned their life into a living lesson. There are some incredible people who are dedicated to helping you too change your life, Anthony Robbins for example. These people have important recipes for survival and enjoyment of life, seek them out. Let's distinguish them by calling them teachers. When they start to speak, something deep within your soul warms, when the latter speaks you have to watch you don't sprout wool and start to 'baaa'.

So here is my guide to avoid becoming the sheep of a false shepherd or 'Guru' as they like to call themselves. This includes wanna-be Guru's who dream of being on stage to experience feeling important.
  1. Guru's begin most of what they say with 'i', a favourite is 'I can make you xyz'
  2. Guru's take 'best friend forever' style photo's of themselves with other Guru's to reinforce your belief in their status
  3. Guru's behaviour off the stage does not mirror the values they talk about on stage
  4. Guru's often should read their own books to take their own advice
  5. Guru's imitate each other and pass off each others stories as their own because they lack any real experience helping individuals to change their lives
  6. Guru's have followers that don't really blink properly and make you feel nervous, or get angry when you ask questions
  7. Guru's have a set of rules, or a program, and get annoyed, or blame your lack of commitment for their failures
  8. Guru's don't really listen in life, they only know how to output
  9. Guru's have forgotten how to talk to people normally, they only do 'seminar mode' i.e asking all the questions, and answering in questions
  10. Guru's have an overinflated sense of self-belief....until they step off the stage and mime their way through life
And the biggest one of all

    11.  Guru's need you to believe in them, to believe in themselves

If you are low on hope and want to get back on the road to happiness find someone wise who will support, and help YOU, to trust YOURSELF, to change YOUR OWN life and create your own resources and solutions.. They come from a place of service and wont be driving a yellow Ferrari, or peddling their lives as a show home.

Monday, 8 April 2013

Calling all worriers - take the anxiety test

Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere. We all worry at times, but if your worrying is running you, it's time to get out of that chair. Like Mr Worry are you addicted to worrying?

In the olden days, when the threat of being eaten by something, or charcoaled by dragon fire (according to Ruben, age 6) us humans were on constant alert for threats. The daily quest for water, food, hatching babies and staying alive was a full-time job. There were no 28 days holiday, duvet days, or sabbaticals to search for the meaning of life back then. Our ancestors legacy is a deeply installed, and hormonally supported blueprint to self-protect and stay alive.

Forward wind to 2013 and that legacy is active in all of our everyday lives. When faced with any perceived threat our mind and body reacts. The film, TV, advertising, book and gaming industries tap into engage our brains to emotionally react to what is being viewed. Our imaginations are a key portal into the mind and body connection. Imagination doesn't know the difference between an imagined experience and a real one. It tells the body to react for a moment as if the imagined threat was real. Think of a picture or time when you couldn't stop laughing...bet you have just started to giggle. That's the power of the imagination on the mind and body.

Today the dragons have been substituted by more of an invisible and internal threat, ' a fear of the future' produces anxiety. Anxiety is a mind and body response to an imagined fear in the future. The fear could be that perhaps in the future someone won't like you, or that you will get something very wrong, fail, or that you wont have enough money to live. Either way the message to the mind is that there is something significantly painful coming at you like a high speed train from the future. You can't avoid the future.

We all get nervous when stepping out of our comfort zone doing something new, or when something is demanded from us that we believe we lack the skill or experience for. If your thoughts, anxieties, or fears are impacting your quality of life, or you are constantly trying to avoid your fears by over-controlling your life -

Take the Anxiety test

Choose the one description for each item that best describes how many days you have been bothered by each of the following over the past 2 weeks

7 or more
Nearly Every day
Feeling Nervous, anxious or on edge
Unable to stop worrying
Worrying too much about different things
Problems relaxing
Feeling restless or unable to sit still
Feeling irritable or easily annoyed
Being afraid that something awful might happen

Total scores for each question
  • None = 2
  • Several = 1
  • 7 or more = 2
  • Nearly every day = 3

Total score _______________________

  • A total score of 5-9 suggests mild anxiety
  • A total score of 10 + suggests moderate to severe anxiety

If anxiety is holding you back in your life, stop coping with it, there is so much that can be done to overcome it and get your freedom back. Talk to someone, you will be amazed at how many people suffer with anxiety. Speak to your GP about CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) or talk to me about the amazing Thought Pattern Management system. Time to turn your Mr Worry into Mr Happy.