Ever wondered what one of the Queen's to-do lists might look like? Perhaps we would find a vertical list written in fountain pen: text Obama, walk dogs, reign longer than Queen Victoria, hair appointment, phone William, buy birthday card, write apology letter on behalf of Philip, call palace window cleaner and a tiara doodle at the side of the page!
A to-do list is a window into the private world of someone. A scribbled list on a torn off piece of paper, or the back of an envelope provides an honest snapshot into our real lives. It reveals both our anxieties and our goals, how we manage our time, and highlights what we are avoiding in life. Today we need lists more than ever, but how many lists are too many lists? How many lists have you made recently about what you have to do, rather than what you want to do? If you have lists about lists than maybe it's time to create a to-don't list instead.
An old flatmate of mine was a list fanatic. She would pack into a day so much I began to question if she had somehow discovered a magic way of having 30 hrs in a day. She would always be running around with an old white envelope in her hand, ticking her way through a long list of tasks. She was constantly in a whirlwind of doing. I was the polar opposite at the time, stuck in a becalming of thinking. Lists to me were still an enigma back then. She decided to explore opening a sandwich shop. Every evening she would sit at the kitchen table with a blank A5 piece of paper, chewing the pen lid as she thought excitedly about the many sandwich fillings she would offer in her shop. These lists read more like a shopping list: bacon, avocado, chicken, cheese, ham etc, all the way to the bottom of the page. Each night she would start again. She moved on to another project quite soon after, for the next two years I would find random sheets of paper with bacon, avocado, cheese written on it. We still chuckle about it now.
Your lists should be helping you to explore possibilities and acting as memory support. There is a very fine balance between thinking and doing. It's a ballet of discipline and dance. Too much thinking can prevent someone moving forward in his or her life, they get stuck in a cycle of thinking. Next time you ask someone to do something and they reply 'I'm thinking about it?' they probably don't know how to do part of the task they are putting off, there is a block. They get stuck there sometimes for years, or avoid it until the 'not doing it' causes enough pain. Too much doing, can sometimes create a busy fool bingeing on small chores. Without thought and defined purpose, the doer has to feed their sense of achievement with doing.
The brain loves an orderly list. The direction helps the brain to tidy up information hanging around in its in-tray waiting for further instruction from you. Once filed, that stressful feeling that things are getting on top of us reduces. Our list habits show electronically too. If you are one of those people that have many screens open at the same time, flicking from one to another and working simultaneously on different projects, you may want to consider thinking through what you are working on and completing one at a time. You will feel so much more relaxed for it.
Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist Victor Frankl was very aware of the relationship between our wellbeing and our ability to get things done. He believed that putting unpleasant jobs at the top of the list was the only way to attack them. Your lists should be helping you to control the chaos, make sure they are not controlling you. Lists do point to an unhealthy mental state when they become a tool to satisfy a need for excessive control. But for those that get stressed at the mere thought of writing a list, this can indicate that you perhaps need to look at some of the benefits that embracing a list habit will bring.
Make sure that you give yourself a reward for achieving your lists, particularly if you have dealt with some of those unpleasant jobs. Sometimes just getting everything ticked of can feel like an achievement, the truth is most people will focus on what they haven't achieved and berate themselves. This then sets up the brain with resistance next time it meets a 'tough things to-do' list. Wouldn't we all try to avoid a telling off?
Writing things down is very important for a clear mind. When I ask clients if they have written a 5-year plan they frequently tap their heads and tell me 'kind of, it's all in here.' Help yourself to get clarity, write it down. A habit shared with me recently by a very successful client was that before he goes to sleep each night he writes down seven ideas for the next day. It means he sleeps well and can start the next day with focus.
Help your mind to be clear, and make sure that you aren't operating at the cost of spontaneity. Life is a constant to-do list, its up to us to create what goes on the list, and choose where it takes us.
THINKING LISTS
20 ideas to help me…
My ideal partner
How to solve...
New Years Goals
Things I want to achieve
Thoughts to remove from my head
Anxieties to go
5 year plan Finances
Pros and cons
Midnight inspiration
DOING LISTS
Itinerary
Reminders
Things to do
Where to go
Event Planning
Table Plans
Shopping Lists
Finances Incoming/Outgoing
Chores
Planning
TO DON'T LIST
Things to stop doing! Rehab for list bingers, control freaks or people that are time poor.
TOO HARD FOR NOW LIST
Anything that you don't want to deal with right now. It's very important to set a date to come back to review the task. Just leaving it in the abyss will not create a peaceful mind. Create a 'thinking' list to explore a solution i/e 20 ideas to help me solve xyz.
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